I feel blinded by the sun / I feel warm and alarmed / I’ve lived so long under the shade / of a comfortable cloudy sky / and now I’m ready to throw it all away / I tripped over all the things I’ve said / and now I’m suddenly indebted / I thought it more than it ever was / and I gave it everything which wasn’t much more than anything at all / Was it ever really there / Will it ever stick around for longer than this / Was it ever really there / I’ve been fooled like this before / Now I’m doubting in anything more / It always starts out just the same / so how do you believe in anything enough to know that it’ll never change / Was it ever really there / Will it ever stick around for longer than this / Was it ever really there / I woke up crying / at the thought of us smiling / I’ve grown tired of us lying to ourselves that this is all there is / but with that said love / I’m scared to death of / messing this whole thing up / because I’m not sure of anything / If I could just hold you one more time tonight / It might help me with what I’m trying to decide / and I’ll pretend that I’ll be different / with the hopes that I’ll be different / because it’ll always be different this time.
They say you don’t know a good thing until it’s gone / I found myself leaving when the feeling got too strong / and now I’ve become the cliché part of our song / and it’s a strange place to be when you get what you want / and find it’s not what you wanted / Look what this clarity has taken away from me / I know now what you always knew / I had true love in my hands / but let it slip through like sand / I haven’t felt the same / Since you / I drove myself to distraction and back again / I realized the fight I fought was one that I would never win / I kept a postcard to show me just where I’d been / but the view was not what I had expected / I was looking for the answers to you / Since you, I’ve been running / Since you, I’ve been down / Since you, I’ve been trying to turn myself around / Since you, I’ve been sinking / Since you, I’ve been drowning / Since you, I’ve been down and out / and crying out darling.
A warm October day finds me / perched on the 21st floor / of an apartment on the Upper West Side / with the park in my eyes / and my future before me / and if this is all I’ll get from you / then it’s still more than I had expected / I’ll place this love in your hands / the first chance that I get / you can take it or leave it / I know how many men have died trying / but I blocked both my ears and deny ever hearing it / Madison I never thought I’d get past your front door / This is all I’ve waited for / Just listen / Madison I’m a nervous wreck / but I could be so much more / when this is all I’ve waited for / Just listen / An early November day finds me / more awake than I want to be / I don’t think I’ve slept for years / excited for the chance of this possibility / and if this is all I get from you / then it’s still more than I had expected / or so I’ll keep telling myself / and I know that I shouldn’t count on things I don’t know / even though, that’s what faith is / or so I’ve been told / but it’s just that now / you’ve got me wanting more / A cold December day finds me / Still waiting…
Awake In The Morning
Tell me what sound it makes / My head on the pillowcase / I’m tired and it’s been a long year / I’m only knee deep in it / But I feel like I’m covered in shit / Just look what they’ve tried to do to me / Keep my head on straight / and let the world come day by day / So if I sleep away the entire day / Would you wake me in the morning / Would you think less of me if I admitted defeat / I’m just so tired of running / It started out so innocent / Sometimes I try and pretend / that I haven’t become so jaded / I’ll be fine if I’m left alone / Just point me towards home / And I’ll pretend we’re not so fated / Keep my head on straight / and let the world come day by day / I don’t believe in much anymore / So if there is something I don’t know / Could you help me to restore my broken faith / Lift me up / if I’m falling / Wake me up / If I’m sleeping / Life me up / If I’m slipping / Wake me up in the morning…
I keep losing my direction / it seems like I’ve passed this place before / I don’t believe in second chances / not with the lies that I’ve told / The trees hang over the edge of / the dead end to my street / like the angels hang over my shoulder / they’ve lost their faith in me / If I go away then you won’t know me anymore / or so I’ll pretend / If I leave today, better to be forgotten / than remembered this way / You say that everyone is faulted / That days hold minutes in reserve / for the moments we wish to do over / and the lessons we are to learn / I fly and I fall / But I will not open up / I come undone / Unraveled in the moment / outwardly unspoken and then it’s gone / I don’t want you remembering me this way…
The Next Time I See You
I caught a smile from across the table / You spoke of horses in the city / We toasted to our futures / And all the little things worth saving / So if I sing, I’ll sing to you sweetly / And if we dance, let’s dance without light / So, if I sing for you the next time I see you / Let it be tonight / I’ve been waiting on your phone call / You’ve been waiting for this song / I don’t know what to think here / But I’m more than willing to get dragged along / Because I feel more at ease tonight / The whiskey’s running through my veins / I’m only here for an evening / And I was looking for someplace to stay / I’m a little boy in a big world / I’m scared of noises in the dark / Lately I’ve spent too many lonely hours on the road / Staring out the windows of this car…
You were right to go after him / I’ve got too many closets filled with skeletons / and I weigh more than I look like I should / I was more than a fool to think / That you’d be interested in saving me / I’m not sure anyone or anything could / And maybe this is me / Sitting, feeling sorry for myself / If you call tonight I won’t answer / I’ll be busy trying to forget December / and the glance I took from you as flirting / and the smile I took from you as wanting more / I was wrong to think anything / Ain’t it funny how it’s always something / Sorry if I’m messing with your plans / But you’re a fan of the snow and the cold / and I’m a fan of never growing old / somewhere where my feet touch the sand / And maybe this is me / Trying to find anything that clears my head / But you’ll never know these things that I keep / Cause the man who holds you now / it’s not me…
Got a picture of you smiling back at me / From a weekend on Nantucket in May / There are drinks to be had in the morning / The outline is blurry and my memory is the same / We choose now / We chose now / To leave it up to love in the end / We choose now / We chose now / and it’s worked so far for us my friends / It’s a moment frozen in time / Shaded by the roof of the gazebo / And this says more than I ever could / If I leave you before I’m supposed to
Only We’ll Know
The words they fell out of my mouth / As if they were carrying the weight of the world / I swear I could hear the noise they made / As they crashed onto the floor / right there beside your jaw / And as soon as they leapt off of my tongue / I forgot what this was all about / With your eyes filling up with tears / I locked the door behind me / It took everything I had to keep my car going north / back to the place I started from / Now this place is filled with ghosts / pieces of stories we haven’t told / now this place is filled with ghosts / and we’ll be the only ones who’ll know / I drugged myself to sleep that night / right next to a bottle of booze / and a wrinkled picture of you / I’ll have to come back for all my things / and leave you this vacant lover’s dream / and perhaps this song to sing / It took everything I had to keep myself from coming home / back to the place I’ll miss so much / I’m not sure what to believe in / A mind or a heart that I’ve lost all my faith in / Maybe someday you’ll forgive me / Please forgive me.
All I Go Looking For
It’s been a long week but I’m finally home / September has clouded up my head / I leave my bags at the door and rush to our room / where you lay waiting for me in bed / And I hope that I can be / as good to you as you are to me / Love, you’re all I go looking for / Love, you’re all I go looking for / And when I can’t take this world anymore / you’re all I go looking for / I’ve grown so tired of these darkened days / but there is a light that I can see / A silver lining in fucked up world / A taste of sanity / And I hope that I can be / As good to you as you are to me / You’re a pretty little girl in this messed up world / but you’re all that I’ve been looking for / just say you’ll be mine / for the rest of tonight / because you’re all that I’ve been looking for.
Here It Is
You chose the path that you’re walking on / and it left me reeling from that sudden turn / a sucker punch that left my face numb / and I was supposed to keep trying / but you entered a place I would be leaving / and you covered up things I was revealing / I hate that I see you when I’m dreaming / I’m supposed to keep lying / Leave it up to me / To lose myself in the past / Here it is / The truth laid out as if we had lost it / it’s hit or miss / and we were miles off from the target / You carried a spark that I’d been craving / You were support for the walls that had been caving in / But how am I to believe what you’re saying / When it’s more than I can bare / My friends say I can’t let go completely / and the truth that I’ve laid out has been lost on me / I’m left wondering what you might be thinking / like me, do you even care / Leave it up to me / To lose myself in the past / And even if we turned this all around / I’m not sure anyone we know would be on our side / Not that it matters what they think / cause either way, we’re miles away tonight / All the words that I couldn’t let fall from my lips / Found a home in your loose hands and they started to slip / and now I sit here plagued by the thought of this / And then we were miles off…
Another messed up honeymoon / Did we fall apart too soon / Scared to admit the truth / That we’re lost in the feeling / This is against all I had thought / Our timing couldn’t be more wrong / and now we’re far past gone / we should have stopped at the ceiling / So now it’s give in or get out / I’m too numb to decide / should I give in or get out / Embrace or deny this / I didn’t mean to go this far / Unsure what I would want / if I had some crystal ball / you know I would use it / I’ve been away for far too long / Plagued by the weight of my heavy thoughts / I miss this tingling rush / But I’m scared that I’ll lose it / Give me time to sort this through / Alone with some wine and the moon / but tell me do you feel the same / are you scared the way I am / It’s either sell a lie or admit the truth…
I was looking at a photograph / of you and I and couldn’t help but laugh / I forgot we were ever so in love / Lately I’ve been living on my own / checking in and out of one night homes / a different place for every song I’ve sung / Mary-Anne, save me a seat at the bar / Mary-Anne, I will be home before last call / But have I missed it all / It’s all about the hurry up and wait / and I’ll hang around until I have to play / These days they all begin to look the same / But I’m not around nearly long enough / to take anything more from anyone / but a handshake, a smile and their name / Day turns to night and still nothing’s changed / I turn on the lights but it all looks the same / I’ve got this girl back in Boston who used to call out my name / I miss her calling out my name.
Hold them down / those memories of us / Because I’m not sure when we’ll have them again / We’ve both got our sides to a story that ends right now / I don’t need you to wish me well / You’re just changing the cover to a book that still won’t sell / And if the next time I see you is on that train ride to hell / It’ll be too soon / I always knew / in the back of my mind / That if this were to end it would wind up being worse / Than the hurt of a love we’ve never known before / and I was right…
Keep Us Around
I’ve got a friend / Who’s afraid of everything / I don’t know what else I can do for him / I think he’s changed / He doesn’t seem the same / A half empty glass is what he drinks from these days / I’m not saying he doesn’t have his reasons / But wait, there is no where to run / You’ll quit when you’re done / These things will work themselves out / Have faith in the people you love / It takes a little trust / But not everyone will let you down / Keep us around / I’ve got a friend / Who thinks that the world is ending / He’s lost any hope for good things coming / He’s got a dream / Sacrificed everything / Afraid of what the years may not bring / I’m not saying that he doesn’t have his reasons / Theses days it seems harder to keep believing in this / and sometimes you believe cause there’s nothing else to do / You’ve come so far with the things you’ve been through / I’ve got a friend / who every now and then / Will talk about himself in the third person…