I’ve changed every little part of me
Just to have you sit there and disbelieve
Now are you waiting for something more than this?
Are you needing something I can’t give?
Ok, I’m the worst thing that you know
Ok, this would be better left alone
Ok, we should give in and just get out
We should give up and fall to doubt
And admit what we’ve become now
I think our egos get in the way
And mold all of the things that we shouldn’t say
Now we’re trying for something we can’t have
Now we’re trying for something we’ll never have
Maybe there’s just too much weight on me now
Maybe there’s just too much that we don’t talk about
Tell me when we turn this whole damn thing around
Because I’m wanting out
I’m needing out
Embrace the warmth of this fire
I curb how I feel, now I fight this desire
I’ve given up trying know what I want, but I’m narrowing it down
Take out the stuff that weighs heavy
Keep it sexy and sound
Cause sometimes I’m so lonely
But sometimes I need to be alone
Forgive my lovely
But I don’t think I can do without
That touch of yours is something
It always leaves me wanting just a little bit more
We’re almost there now.
I know this could amount to nothing
But what if we were something just a little bit more
We’re almost there now.
Forget the plans you had for the evening
Tell me what you want and I’ll tell you what I’m thinking
I won’t claim to know what I want
It changes day-to-day
Take out the drama that weighs heavy
Let’s be sexy and crazed
But I don’t trust myself past today
I don’t trust myself
But I’m sick of being lonely.
Here For Good
They say it’s a right of passage
Something to expect from looking backwards
And it comes at this age
Everyone starts to separate
Create new lives while the others dissipate
But I can’t stand this change
It’s the death of the circle we lived in
If I weren’t alone, I would probably feel different
I’m feeling so much older
And I’m not ready
For the secrets I’ve unearthed
That should have stayed buried
No one knows me better
Than you my best friends
So tell me that you’re here for good
Make me believe it
I was told about this
Because we follow a path that never changes
I’m tired of resisting
There will always be something there
That will keep what we’ve built in disrepair
It won’t take convincing
They’ll call me someday
Remember my face but forget my name
They’ll miss me someday
When I’m finally gone from this place.
Someday I’ll be gone from this place.
A wake-up call like a heart attack
Any excuse so that I can’t go back
I don’t ever want to feel like that again
Wake me up in a hospital bed
With a list of all the meds I’ll be taking
A little Versed to help me forget you love
Set it up like a scene
Tell me what I should be thinking
Watch me close, give me notes
Tell me what I’m not doing
I know that no one is going to save me
She’s got me convinced I’m going crazy
We’ve been holding out for the easy kill
I’ve yet to feel like I am ok
When we repair the bridges we keep burning
Now moving on feels like standing still
Can you look past this whole in my chest?
The doctors said that it was all for the best
Forgive me now for what little I have left to give
This is more of what I need
A little dose of ‘what the fuck was I thinking?’
How did I get here?
Magnify my fears
What should I be doing?
How do I get over you now?
Anything Or Anyone
This is my ‘Bailey Building and Loan’
This is my bloody lip, this is my drafty home
These are the dreams of a jaded young man
Who’s wondering if life is better off without him
These are the plans for a future I’ll hope for
These are the truths that I’ve tried to ignore
Here are the demons that I’ve tried to exorcize
They keep coming back, no surprise
This is not what I planned out
This is not what I was told I could have
What happened to my ending?
I need to stop myself from looking back
You could have anything or anyone
But nothing could be further from the truth
You could have anything you’d ever want
Who told that myth to you
This is the suitcase I’ll never use
This is the rope that could pull down the moon
Now I’m just waiting on my Mary to show
Grab my hand and take me home
Cause I can’t stop living this train wreck
I think too much and now I’m losing it
I can’t stop feeling this heart break
Tell me now, are you over it?
Under Different Circumstances
Close your eyes. Hold my hand and dance with me
These four walls, these dim lights, this mystery
Play me your favorite songs. Tell me of your favorite books
Lend me your dreams
So when, in the morning, I wake to reality
I can take them with me
I want to know, does he tell you he loves you?
I want to know, does he hold your hand?
I want to know, does he treat you like I would
If I was your man?
I wonder if I’ll ever tell you that this song is about you
What would it change here? How would you feel dear?
What good would it do?
It’s just bad timing. The story of this life, and my eternal truth
But from where I stood love, dancing with you, I had the greatest view
Did it mean anything?
Our midnight kiss, the evenings end
I’m sorry that I’m a sucker for this
Hopeless romantic bullshit.
Oh hello 3 AM, we meet again
I’m growing tired of the way that you keep sucking me in
This mind of mine, I can’t get it to stop
Long enough to fool it into thinking that I’ve made this shit up
So if I don’t subscribe to the things that you keep selling me
Blame it on the stubborn side of the things I still believe
And if I can’t go back to the simple way, where will I be?
I’m loosely following the notion that it’s time for me to leave
This time I’m taking my chances
At leaving this place and all that it grants us
To fall back on something I said
That I’d never become, I’ve created instead
Oh hello deprecation, how have you been?
I think I said it’s like riding a bike and god damn it, I meant it
I know the things I’ve done, they slap me in the face
Every time I play this guitar in this god-forsaken place
I’m envious of your display
I keep crumbling under the weight
I’m envious of your display
I feel like a monster here in this place.
Breathe, Like It’s Easy
Precious few moments left
A simple truth I can’t accept
I’ve tried so hard to right this wreck
In a quiet ocean now neglected
Am I alone in this place?
My stubborn side is still holding on
It wasn’t my choice to make
But it leaves me living here without
I shouldn’t spend another moment lost in
All the things that I won’t ever control
Slow it down, breathe deep, like it’s easy
And let it go
Keep me from the quiet parts
The ones that make you swallow hard
I’ve worked so hard to come this far
Tell me friend, am I close to where you are?
When I think too much, every thought’s like a stain
No matter how hard I scrub they never fade away.
At The Ruins
I don’t sleep much these days
I’ve been too busy falling apart at the seems
I keep seeing her face
A year in hell has me tossing and turning
I came back to this place
Hoping somehow she’d know to come find me
But I’ve since been replaced
For an upgrade with added stability
Now it’s full circle back to the end
I was hoping for something different
And I’m losing myself again
Here at The Ruins
I’m such a pathetic little case
Or maybe I’m just messed up
I keep holding my hand in the flame
But isn’t that what they call love?
Doesn’t this place remind you of us?
Something so beautiful that suddenly falls apart
All the lies
All of those horrible things
All the fights
And still I’m here waiting
I’m tired of these AM wake-ups
Leaving before five
I’m tired of this feeling in my chest
Heart racing, so tight
I can’t stop checking up on you
An addition that I can’t kick
Because you’re fine and now we’re through
and I’m a wreck, I’m fucking sick
I can’t get back to the place I always though we’d be
I can’t fight for this when you’re not calling me
I don’t see you now
Not like before
I don’t want to feel lonely anymore
I don’t feel you now
Not like before
I don’t want to feel anxious anymore
I’m sick of just thinking of you
Laying down there with him
Saying things we only said to each other
And now you’re sharing them
I’m a wreck with the lies you told me
Just to save some face
You always said that I got what I wanted
My, how the times have changed
And I can’t find a way out of this hole I’ve dug myself in
I can’t leave until I finally stop remembering
My chest is hurting
My eyes are swollen
And no one knows it but me… and now you.
So This Is How It Ends
I keep hearing that texts
Are the modern equivalent
Of a love note
With simple prose
But these words that I’m reading now
Seem to be holding out
And have been from the get-go
Are you tired of the ride?
Should we give it more time?
It’s been months now
My faith has turned into doubt
Hold me up by the scruff
When I’m angry and drunk
These double standards are
So unfair my love
I keep screaming
Leave me alone
I’ve got nothing to say no more
I’ve got nothing to give to anyone
I’m just a shell of who I was
We had it all
But you messed that up for both of us
The light at the end
Blown out by the wind
Was all we were looking for
Listen now to what you say
Can you back up a thing
And tell me what you see
Something more, something less
The glass is half full at best
Are you listening?
Or do I have to scream?
Things change when I’m not ready
Things move even when I’m holding them steady
You could say that I’m giving up
You should say that I’m giving up
Because I am.
The Walking Dead
I would have driven myself crazy had I tried to predict
That everything I had ever worked for would bring me to this
Nothing ever works out the way you want, despite your best plans
The final product seldom looks like what you drew out by hand
So if I could trust in the things that you’ve said
If I could cherish what little is left
Just breathe new life into the walking dead
Would there still be this sentiment?
I might have told you that I am not one to believe in much
Blame it on years of falling apart or the absence of luck
But I am no different than anyone else with half a heart
But it feels like the wrong feet keep leading me out from the start
All of the wrong words keep rushing out
Exploding like fireworks when they leave my mouth.
You can blame it all on my bad habits
You can blame it on me
But someday I’ll learn to let it go
Someday I’ll learn to leave.
I’ve run myself ragged
Trying to make any sense
Of all our misfortunes
In the months since I left
They say turn around
And never look back
But I’ve been walking sideways
Just so I know where you’re at
I can’t quit you
No matter how hard I try
And I think I’ll be trying
For the rest of my life
I don’t believe in destiny
And I won’t believe in fate
Just piss poor luck and realizations that came way too late
Someday you’ll be over me
And you’ll learn to love again
And I’ll regret missed opportunities
When I have to call you Mrs. Him.